We have recently reemerged from our respective blanket burritos and are here to say summer sucks… well, sort of. Like we said last week, we just graduated ~woo~ and for WHATEVER REASON decided to stay in our college town for one last summer. Maybe we thought it would be relaxing or, I don’t know, fun? We’re here to say any idea of one last, glorious summer was shot out the window the moment ‘summer’ started. Neither of us have jobs, an apartment after July 31 or very many friends who stayed in town. But this isn’t a pity party, what we have here is a list of fun and exciting things you can do in a ghost town. We hope you enjoy!
- You can hang out with the one other friend you do have.
- You can try out a new recipe.
- You can read the book that’s been on your nightstand all semester.
- You can nap for five hours.
- After that, wake up and nap again.
- You can kill the cockroach on your floor.
- You can order takeout, twice in one day.
- THEN you can stress about money.
- You can look for jobs online.
- Next time you’re hungry you can eat the cockroach you killed but didn’t pick up because the one roommate who’s not afraid of bugs already moved out like everyone else but you.
- You can hunt the colony of lizards living outside your apartment.
- THEN you can tame the lizards and teach them to obey your commands in a synchronized fashion.
- You can conquer your small college town with your lizard army.
- Once you’ve conquered your small town you can declare yourself mayor.
- After 5 years of service you can run for governor, and if you don’t win you use your newly vamped robotic lizard army that you demanded the top engineering students at your university to build over the past 5 years.
- You can take a midday nap, because being a ruler is tiring.
- You can run for president because apparently anybody can now-a-days.
- You can run as a member of all parties using your robotic minions to strike down those who oppose you.
- You can become a supreme leader and use your power for good because you believe in climate change and equality and help to make the world a better place.
- You can wake up from this dream because things just took a weird turn.
Wishing you a future full of employment,